Saturday, May 1, 2010

Sunday: Moshing Guide For Dummies

So you’ve been at a concert and want to be like one of the tough guys, front and center to worship your favourite band. But you can’t physically make it to the front or upon entering this pit of worship you are knocked away. Well people nows your chance to participate!

So you’ve just rocked up to a concert and your ready to take on the crowd just to get a close up glimpse of your favourite band. The warm up band gets off and the band you’ve been waiting for comes out on stage. the crowd packs forward and your are pushed to the side and knocked around because you are to much of a noob to get to the mosh pit and actually get into the concert.

So here we have it ladies. The guide to get you up to the front and knocking over those little midgets that call themselves moshers!
You don’t have to be at a heavy deathmetal gig to have a moshpit. I was at a killers concert and there was a moshpit. It all depends on the crowd and if they appreciate this band enough to kick the s**t out of the people around them to show how much they actually want to be noticed.

Get a buddy! You don’t want to be flying solo in a moshpit that stuff is for professionals only, not for the amateur dummies. Nothing’s worse than being screamed at while pushing to the front or trodden on while in a pit without a buddy being there to have your back.

A concert is like a battlefield. The closer you get to the front the more intense you have to be. So get ready to be courageous and take on your opposition with those steel balls we all know you have hidden away somewhere.

Nothing’s personal in a pit. Unless some scummy, trash-head directly insults you. Then it’s personal. Feel free to use the later techniques on him to your full extent.

Getting To The Front!

Now we have to get in early, get our weapons ready (any sort of flesh that is attached to your body) and try get as near to the front as we can while that opening act is still warming up the crowd. Subtle pushing and shoulder nudging past people will get you through.
If you are not near the front when the opening act has just finished you can walk forward while people are jumping up and down. They can’t stop you if they’re not on the ground. :)


The windmill – Throw your arms around in any direction. Any face you clip is another point! Aim of this move… get as many points as you can. *WARNING* May cause rage in the pit and get you beaten by skin heads. Use in caution.

The elbow smack – A more defensive move for the mosh pits. This move is more suited for the shorter people. Head down, elbows behind head, flail body. This is a good one if your on the recovery from a trampling or a vicious push from another mosher. Careful though vision will be impaired while head is down.

The classic push – Push any body near, around, or obscurely not near you. For the taller gentlemen or butch ladies (lets be honest females have to be butch to be in this scenario). You gotta be big to pull this off considering it’s hard to push someone 3 inches taller than you.

The crazy guy on E – A mixture of all of the above, usually seen done by a crazy guy on E.

So You’ve just completed boot camp?

This is only the basics. The more concerts, gigs or shindigs you go to will improve your crowd control, mosh offense and eye for the guys on drugs. You’ll become awesome in no time and maybe someday you’ll be able to fly solo in a Slayer moshpit.
Ciao for now. GET ANGRY!

OK so this is a bit different from my usual post. I have written this articale at triond and decided to put it up here aswell. Original is right Here In the Doobledoo. ENJOY! And I assure you NBHT.


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