Sporting Fail Of The Year

Now we have seen some pretty bad things happen at my school. Just yesterday a kid stole a car, crashed it and caused a three car pile up then ran through the school with a screw driver while a helicopter and platoon of police officers hunted this kid and his passenger down through the school. Do you know what the funny thing about all this is though? Well when a totally innocent, law abiding citizen tried to help, the perfectly trained police dog of the NZ police mauled the humble Samaritan.

"Sick him boy!"

No but this is not the main idea of my post. No. *btw we've been on lock down twice this year and it's not even half way through the year. Anyone would think we're in the bad parts of Compton." This post is about the head of P.E at our school when presenting our half ass waterpolo team with certificates.

The story begins... In a land far far away...

We were sitting through a gruelling honours assembly to honour the great athletic achievements so far in the year. We had to listen to a lady speak and tell us about her life *she honestly told us about everything she did, at one point the crowd groaned because it went so long, her speech even went into lunch time.* Then it came to the actual certificate giving. Now get this straight the first time our totally onto it head of P.E went to say a girl called Nicole's last name he some how magically called her Nicole Kidman <-- *that one sounds like a joke* . 0.o. And let me tell you he's onto it. Then proceeding to read the waterpolo boys name we were presented with our certificates.

Softball - 2009 - Junior girls grade - western division - Sam Law

What we actually did...

Waterpolo - 2010 - Senior boys grade - North Island Tournament - Sam Law

Quick shop aaaaand...

You have my head of P.E...

Our completely onto it head of P.E managed to pull some random certificate off his shelf and write our names on it. The only right piece of information on the certificates was our names.

He then went onto miss a girl's name out completely, showing how much actual concentration the old fart had.

It doesn't stop there. When giving me my badge instead of a waterpolo badge he gave me a soccer badge. :P I went back to him later and got my actual badge and now have both soccer and waterpolo, so that one was kind of a win. But honestly this guy definitely deserves the king of sporting fails this year!

Props Mr Jamieson

Cya guys :)

TOMBSTONE!!!!

Wednesday, Why Did I Get Outta Bed

Ever have those days? When you sit back and think, now why did I get out of bed? Well today I had one of those days and looking back in retrospect I keep asking myself this very question. I know I said this wouldn't be a bitch blog but hey after one of these days you too would be bitching bout how *F**ked your life is :P*. I love that site just btw.



Anyways lets start at the start. Alarms late I jump to put uniform on and shovel down a hasty breakfast, running out of the door with my even later brother I say if we catch the bus it has to be a good day (*side not* now I'm not too superstitous but I think god smited me just at this moment and jinxed my very words. I think I may start to become more superstitous and renew my look on religion **side side note** I use to be catholic when I was a wee little lad, I'm just waiting for some potentially bad catholic priest supressed memories to pop up any time ***side side side note*** no wonder we stopped going to mass...). Anyways we caught the bus and I was jinxed for the rest of the day. I am now going to greet my walk out of the door with. Damn today is going to be the worst day of my life so when it's horrible I can say "Ha past me was right my life sux!" or if it goes well I can say "hey that day wasn't to bad :P MLIA..." FML > MLIA just btw.



Onwards. 3rd period, Calculus test. Need I say more? I thought algebra was hard then wam! Calcubra! Bitch bitch moan moan, bear with me my friends laugh when I say come hehe come... (*side note* connatations are great). Yes so I have been crying to people I will probably never see but man it gets worse. So after school I have waterpolo. Actually nothing bad happened there. It went alright... I had a waterpolo training NBHT? Nothing bad happened there... see what I did? It was good? it was like FML and MLi... O y do I bother.



So after waterpolo I come home to relax for an hour before I go to under water hockey trials for a club team. My main computer is bugging and the antivirus is screwing up the whole computer making it very slow and lethargic. Until I can be bothered to fix it I tell my brother not to use it. I am now forced to use my moms computer which is an obselete oven which restarts without command just because it's angry that it will soon be come a factor in E-Waste, even the enviromentalists would agree that this piece needs to be put down, I'm struggling to type out a post without it randomly restarting on me. Anyways onwards to under water hockey, I get there to find my mask is missing *checks column for $90+ for new gear*... *adds that to missing school jumper checks the plus $80 column*. I come home stressed and tired after 2 and a half hours of swimming in the space of 4 hours to find my brother care free playing on the computer unprotected from an anti virus. My words to him were, don't play on there or I'll slap you, hard. Now can you guess what the best part of my day was?



Tomorrow I don't think I'm going to get out of bed...

That's me for the time being, feel prided that your life didn't suck as much as mine did today and if it did I can't really be bothered reading it cause I don't want to be so hypocritic as that I would also read the thing I despise as to what I'm already doing what I despise. So if no one loves you and no one will listen to you just remember that you can add me to the list of people who don't care about your problems :).

No but honestly sorry and maybe some other time when I'm not pissed off about nearly $200 dollars worth of lost stuff in the space of a week. Sorry for the rant, catch you cool cats later.



I typed pwnd into google images and this one made me laugh... NBHT???

Weekend, time to hit the piss

People, people. I am in New Zealand and as of now I am finished school for the week. I am 16 and i'm ready to go hit the piss with my mates. As for people who don't know what the hell I'm talking about cause they aint from NZ and don't know what this means. It means I'm going out drinking with the boys.



For all you hippy old fullahs who think I shouldn't be doing at this age can get stuffed cause I know all you old stooges where back stocking up on homebrew back in your day. So peeps lighten up and read on. Anyways for the majority of the hillbilly NZ society Going out on the drink is a norm for people my age. So I'm actually less of a rebel and more of a conformist son of a bitch.



So far my day has consisted of a waterpolo game. Yes I strip down to speedos and show off my side pubes to everyone who doesn't want to see them and put on one of those funny caps... then wrestle with men in a pool... in speedos but thats beside the point. I play waterpolo, I'm not too good but hey we won this game and I didn't keep the bench warm like some of the other players did. I've been playing underwater hockey also for 3 years now... yes I know... it sounds like a silly sport but really it's one of the greatest sports i've ever played. Every other sport is all like get out of the pool and start running! Under water hockey is get out of the pool chill and have a beer. Yes it is a great sport and I can not emphasize enough the greatness of the euphoric slight high you get from oxygen deprivacy. No I kid but it is honestly a great sport.

If you wanna see our underwater hockey team go to this youtube link.
Avondale UWH Demorilisingly Uncouth...

Ok ok go watch this it's freaking epic. We had to send video into the organisers of our nationals tournament so we made a mockery of it. Now of course people won't get the private jokes like the hockey stick with the tic tacs... the yawning lizard is just in there for fun. NOW LOOK FOR ME OK!!! First freeze frame is my ass! I'm the one flying out of the pool!

See you peeps when I'm hungover!