Dear Tiger Woods, How's Being Single?

Dear Tiger Woods

It has come to my knowledge that you have recently split up with your wife, and for that I am sorry. I do however like your views on teaching young kids about sex education as you obviously are quite adept in this practise. You're setting such a lovely image for your admirers

"13 years ago, my Dad and I envisioned helping children through education. That work is unchanged." - Tiger Woods

It is a great shame to see such an iconic figure such as yourself stoop to such lows but can we blame you? Long tours away from your wife, home and dearly beloved. It's all justification to have sex with over 120 women...

"Starting tomorrow I will return for more treatment and therapy"


The only thing I can pull from this is that you are starting to return to something? All I can say is that it is kinda sucky to see a great sporting hero to many go so wrong. It's like when Chris Brown ragdolled Rihanna or when we found out the only reason Paris Hilton was famous was because we could look at her naked on the internet. It's these subtle let downs I choose to prey on and make the best of. So in the words of Joey Tribiani

"If you're going to do it wrong, do it right!"


And can we deny that you didn't ole Tiger ole pal?

Yours with love
Sam

P.S! More grill letters! Lindsay Lohan, Lindsay again, Miley Cyrus

In all honesty though. My view on Tiger Woods professional career is unchanged. I still think he's an iconic golfer and to let his personal life get in the way of his image may be hard to look past (I'll refrain from the obvious self set up joke) but hey, life's life we gotta move on... And not have sex with everything in our path. :) 121... jeez...

The New Urban Dictionary

Well I've shamelessly copied the idea from a fellow blogger so it's only fair he gets a mention. His ideas were very creative and so I thought I'd add my ideas and thoughts towards some new urban dictionary phrases.


So here goes

Crocodile hunter
 - Put on a balaclava and when talking use a husky unrecognisable voice (preferably Australian sounding). Pounce on your partner while unaware and try to perform intercourse while yelling *this shielas a fighter*
    - In dedication to Steve Irwin

E.g: I felt like Steve Irwin one night and I didn't have a crocodile, so I did the crocodile hunter on my wife instead

Lindsay Lohan
 - Inform your partner that you are acting out a jail scene. Your partner if he/she is open minded will play along. That's when you bend your partner over, start spanking said person, pulling her hair and shouting I've been a Mean Girl over and over again. Haha these Lindsay Lohan jokes just keep coming...


 E.g: This bitch I was banging was DUI so in suit I gave her a Lindsay Lohan 


Candle Wack
 - Tell your partner that if they make a sound you will proceed to slap them in the face with your penis

 E.g: I was tired from work and she kept trying to talk to me. So I gave her a candle wack. Now I'm facing abuse charges.


Cya peeps, don't do any of these...

Now people get following my blog and leave me some comments. I'm always keen to hear from you :D
*Squidoo update* I've got another lens in tier 3 which I think gives me another 8% of some sort of ad pool. So I'm really excited for the payday which looks like it might be bright XD

The Guy With No Virginity

Hey guys!

 Yes I know it's been awhile but I'd like to say it's time consuming doing so much school work and looking for jobs and things like that. I have found some work but only temporary which kinda sucks but gives me some more time to jump on my blog and give everyone a run down of whats been going on.

So I bet you're wondering "hey Sam why is your post titled the guy with no virginity?" Well fellow reader it's because of a biology incident that happened only a few days ago. So let's find out about the guy with no virginity.

So in Biology we're learning about evolution and the parts of the brain that control different emotions, and we're being told the story of the guy who blew the front of his head of with a bolt. Turns out it changed his personality because the frontal lobe or something yadeyayaya. So he started gambling, womanizing and spending all his money, the teacher asked the class "what is this guy missing if he has no frontal lobe or one with a bolt in his head?" To which a student in my class said.

His virginity...

This raised a question to me about this guy and the whole losing of his virginity.

Would you sleep with guy with a bolt in his head or missing a forehead in this case? Yaaar I sleep with ye fore head *amazing I come up with all of these myself :).*

I rest my case

As a conclusion, you will not lose your virginity if you don't have a forehead.

How To Give A Screaming Orgasm

I may be only a young blogger but being on the Internet long enough and being at a few good parties you get a slight refinement for what the opposite gender like and prefer among other things. So today I'm going to reveal the secret to what everybody has been asking about for years past and probably years to come.

This may not be suitable for the young ones so keep nows the time to face them away and let them go play with their lego. Scroll down for the nitty gritty.














Just a little lower to and you'll know how to give someone a screaming orgasm.













Screaming Orgasm
1 oz vodka
1 1/2 oz Bailey's® Irish cream
1/2 oz Kahlua® coffee liqueur

Pour first vodka, then Bailey's, then Kahlua into a cocktail glass over crushed ice. Stir.

Caution: use only high quality vodka. Cheap vodka can cause the Bailey's to curdle. Test your brand of vodka by mixing 1 Tsp each of vodka and Bailey's first.

Well what'd you think was going to be here? Haha thanks to Sloshspot for the recipe. Hope I didn't waste too many people's time.

Catchya round people. Stay screaming

How To Make Your Blog Famous

So here it is, the instant way to make your blog famous. Increase your views to 1000's a day just by doing these few things. Now read carefully because these things aren't too easy to pull of but with the right precision and dedication will bring in traffic like a broken traffic light. Now here's everything you Need to Know.


- Upload all the recent sex tapes of all the new celebrity hoes who want to get their name out there. Not only do you get your name out there but they get their genitals out there also!

- Offer everybody lots of money to come to your site. Just btw guys if you read this post, tell all your friends about it, twitter, stumbleupon, digg, reddit, and send it to 3 other social networking sites I will give you $50. Just saying. Do that to all my posts and I will give you money... Maybe.

- Call your website. "Local Home Pizza Delivery." Need I say more for this one? YES. You will have a very LARGE population of people swarming to your site in no time. haha I'm punny :) get it?

O man I feel like pizza at the moment

- Make Copius Amounts Of Money Here!. Like a million dollars a month, because every person to randomly start a blog can earn a million dollars a month on blogging, come to think of it, I think everybody who starts a blog makes a million dollars a month blogging. Heck I do.

- Super powers? Invisibelts sold here! *honestly on a side tangent, I've just been Amazon link dropping before but man these things actually exist to my surprise, I would definitely click that link.* Fireballs!. Heck I've never searched for super powers but come on there must be a niche out there for it somewhere. If someone does start making money off this idea, I claim some.

- Chuck Norris jokes. Kids put on Superman PJs at night, Superman puts on Chuck Norris PJs at night... Some say where his chin is, there's just another fist. *thanks Family Guy*

- Free instant noodles! If you're on the internet, you like noodles. It's a geometrically proven fact. Indomie Mi Goreng Fried Noodles for 1 Case (30 Bags). Ok this link dropping is getting ridiculous. IF you don't mind it, leave a comment. IF you find it annoying leave a comment. IF you want more links of instant noodles dropped, do I have to say it... LEAVE A COMMENT.

- Blog about the horrors of MSG and the bodies intolerability to process it in the body leaving it to be deposited in the brain possibly causing alzheimer's disease after it causing damage to your heart and various other things.

And finally the most important thing... Of all... To get you that traffic you need!

Ba ba da da da daaaaaaa. Image roll please

- Drop a post titled "How To Make Your Blog Famous" Well I'm hoping atleast :)

Haha thanks for reading guys. I hope you enjoyed my post. As for my studies, I've just come home from lacrosse training and my bodies tired. Over concentrating isn't really what I want at the moment. So blog post it is. I thought I'd throw down some random links in between all of this. So get buying those invisibelts. They do exist and man did they blow my mind.

Have a great week guys and I'll see you next time.