Paris Hilton's Crack

Ahhh I can finally steal away some lovely time to myself and indulge and a long awaited blog post in which I have been deprived of for what seems like forever. So as a way to get back into it. Time to rip on Paris Hilton.

Dear Ms Hilton

I am writing in sheer appal at your recent conduct. First and foremost lets get your past behind us in this letter of great concern. We know you haven't made the wisest decisions and know you have made quite the mistake of a tape in your history (tehee), but we can put that behind us as we have a new topic to adhere to. It seems you have been caught with  .8grams of cocaine. This isn't the first time you've been seen in association with drugs our dear socialite, no. This is in fact the second time this year we've seen you arrested for drug related allegations. How can someone of such high values *snigger*, with such great career prospects and future potential *giggle* find herself in a situation so absurd and uncouth? *holds back a cacophony of laughter* And so the world is once again in an awe struck and surprised state as you are carted away in the paddy wagon. *chuckles*. If you are to end up in jail I just want you to know that I send my best wishes that you aren't stuck with an overly large women named Leslie who bats for the opposite team *leaves room as to hold back overflowing urges of laughter*.

Best wishes on a bad topic
Sam

*falls to the floor in laughter*...

Follow me! Comment! Check out my other letters! Lindsay Lohan!, Miley Cyrus And Her Vagina, Lindsay Again..., Tiger Woods 


Cya guys round aye, Don't forgot to hold onto your coke properly :P

Lindsay Lohan, Why Aren't We Surprised

Dear Lindsay

This is the second instalment of letters I have found myself writing to you. In the last letter, I talked about how you should go from being derailed to the straight and narrow but now obviously you haven't. I'd just like to point out you could have easily avoided going to jail but instead you avoided alcohol ed probation meetings to probably go get drunk. It is a sad state for the world when you may get payed more than in your whole acting career to be interviewed after you've been in jail. You should be fortunate for that priviledge, in NZ you'll get a slap on the wrist and a kick on the butt as you leave prison. Not a million dollars. Be smarter about life Lindsay. Don't drop the soap in prison, only god knows what goes down in the female prisons. See ya in 90 days.

Yours truly
Sam

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Finally if you want to read the letters to Miley and the other to Lindsay click below

Miley and her vagina
Lindsay... and her... vagina...