Lindsay Lohan, Why Aren't We Surprised

Dear Lindsay

This is the second instalment of letters I have found myself writing to you. In the last letter, I talked about how you should go from being derailed to the straight and narrow but now obviously you haven't. I'd just like to point out you could have easily avoided going to jail but instead you avoided alcohol ed probation meetings to probably go get drunk. It is a sad state for the world when you may get payed more than in your whole acting career to be interviewed after you've been in jail. You should be fortunate for that priviledge, in NZ you'll get a slap on the wrist and a kick on the butt as you leave prison. Not a million dollars. Be smarter about life Lindsay. Don't drop the soap in prison, only god knows what goes down in the female prisons. See ya in 90 days.

Yours truly
Sam

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Finally if you want to read the letters to Miley and the other to Lindsay click below

Miley and her vagina
Lindsay... and her... vagina...

Dear Lindsay Lohan

I am writing this in regards to your appalling lifestyle and the bad example you now set our once good youth. You see Lindsay there use to be good times when you weren't a drug abusing excuse for a human. Remember the days of movies like Herbie? When you played a good protagonist who didn't show her private parts because you were too lazy/ not so much of an attention seeking camera hoe to put on underwear. Now you've resorted to malicious parts in programs like Ugly Betty, job snaking and being a self centred douche like your misfit real life persona. With this steady decrease in your personal care for the showing of your nether regions I pose the quote that you once upon a good time said.

"Beauty is grace and confidence. I've learned to accept and appreciate what nature gave me."

We understand that you are confident with yourself but please. For the children stop showing your vagina! If you expose it someone is going to see it. You may not understand this but there is a cult of people following you around at every moment just for that exact reason. Unless you condone the creepy stalkerish exhibitionary then put it away!

"If I dated as many people as they said I have, then I would be dead, because it's just not possible."

This quote to me poses a question. Does having sex with them count as dating them? By the sounds of your profound mumblings it doesn't. I just ask that Lindsay you have some more courtesy for the public because we as a society don't have a choice to see this when your cooch shows up on the news.

Yours Sincerely

Sam

Put it away woman!

So yes that was my letter to Lindsay. Hope she gets it and feels inspired to take a different life path of sex, drugs and nip slips. Man do I feel dirty having to Wikipedia her movies and stuff and ew even worse quotes. I thought people who actually deserved it like Andrew Ryan got their quotes published on sites *just an FYI bioshock has some of my favourite quotes of all time in that game. Play it and enjoy it. go go go.*

Anyways see you cool cats later!